For many leaders, listening is not the challenge, waiting is. The moment someone shares a problem, the instinct is to offer a solution, give advice, or respond immediately. This comes from a good place, but it can unintentionally shut down the conversation before the other person has fully expressed themselves.

Real listening means resisting the urge to jump in too soon. When you move too quickly to fix or advise, you may miss important details, misunderstand the situation, or overlook what the other person truly needs in that moment. Sometimes they need answers, but other times they need understanding, validation, or space to process.

Being aware of this impulse is the first step to managing it. You can notice the moment you feel ready to speak and instead choose to stay silent a little longer. This pause gives the other person room to share more, and it signals that their perspective is worth hearing in full.

It also helps to shift your focus from responding to exploring. Ask open-ended questions. Reflect back what you’ve heard to confirm understanding. Let the other person lead the conversation for a while. This approach builds trust and encourages deeper, more honest dialogue.

Quick responses may solve the immediate issue, but they can also train people to rely on you for all the answers. Over time, this can limit their growth and keep them from developing problem-solving skills of their own. Listening deeply helps others find their own solutions and builds their confidence.

The best leaders know that holding back is not a sign of inaction, it is a choice to be intentional. By slowing down, you create space for better information, stronger relationships, and more sustainable solutions.

Our Core Program helps leaders strengthen their listening skills, manage the urge to respond too quickly, and create conversations that lead to real understanding and better outcomes.

~by Michelle Cummings, Founder & CEO, Personify Leadership

Tip/Tool for Implementation:  Pause before you respond. The space you leave invites deeper insight.

Leaders who resist the urge to fix, advise, or respond too quickly create space for genuine listening. This approach allows them to gather better information, understand the full picture, and build trust. Pausing before responding encourages deeper conversations and empowers others to find their own solutions.